Operation ChangeUlqui'sStatusAsAKissVirgin
by Ulquiarra
Summary: When Murcielago, Gin, five of the Espada, and Orihime all team up in an attempt to get Ulquiorra to kiss Orihime, can Ulquiorra possibly resist temptation? Partial Song-fic. Ulquihime, all the way. Brief spoilers, and naughty Zanpakuto language. Don't own


_**PROLOGUE**_

Murcielago snickered in the back of Ulquiorra's mind as he walked down the halls leading to 'the captive's' (his words) room. It was time for Orihime's dinner. Ulquiorra, in a surprising moment of kindness, had allowed them to meet and talk on a regular basis....

** -Flashback-**

"Ulquiorra?" Orihime asked timidly. "Can you materialize your Zanpakuto? I would like to meet him." Ulquiorra gave her a measured look. Murcielago figuratively jumped in excitement._ Ooh, please? I want this girl to meet me! Please?_ Ulquiorra sighed inwardly and replied tonelessly. "She has no objections to meeting you, woman. Murcielago, you know you can come out, whether I tried stopping you or not." Next to him, his Zanpakuto materialized, smirking. "I know, but you're always bugging me about manners." Orihime gaped. "You're a girl," she stated finally. Murcielago grinned at her, and then bowed from the waist. "Thank you for noticing. I think Ulqui pretends not to. I don't think he likes always having a girl's input, especially mine." Orihime looked shocked. "What? Why? That's totally sexist!" Murcielago laughed. "Oh, it's not that. See, as his Zanpakuto and part of his soul, I'm everything he's not. For some reason, we ended up opposites. Anyway, I get really annoying, which he gets, too, but I get annoying in a fun way, unlike his stick-up-the-ass way." Murcielago nudged Ulquiorra affectionately.

Ulquiorra turned and walked out, refraining from rolling his eyes. The two females eyes each other curiously. Murcielago, although Orihime didn't know it then, looked like a female version of Segunda Etapa. She had long, ebony hair that reached her waist, two ear-like horns, and the same thick black tears. Unlike Ulquiorra, her eyes were bright and full of mischief and life. She had huge-bat wings that were currently folded, and no clothes. Instead, thick black fur covered from her taloned feet to the pale white skin of her well-endowed chest, looking like a floor-length gown, and made elbow-length gloves. A thin tail waved excitedly in graceful motions behind her.

Orihime smiled. "You're really pretty, Murcielago." Murcielago laughed and said, "Thank you, princess. You, too. You should see Ulquiorra when he looks like this. Can I hear a 'Woot! Woot!'?" Orihime gasped, blushed, and started giggling hysterically at the fun Zanpakuto. Murcielago looped her arm through Orihime's and sat on the couch, thrilled when Orihime didn't pull away. "Princess, you and I are gonna have _fun_..." Murcielago told her in satisfaction.

** -End Flashback-**

Murcielago's thoughts were interrupted by an impatient Pantera. _Are you ready yet?_ he inquired. _Me, Fornicaras, Santa Teresa, Shinso, Tiburon, and Ira are getting really antsy waiting for the signal to tell our masters._ Murcielago snorted at the thought of Tiburon, Hallibel's mute Zanpakuto getting 'antsy' and replied, _Patience, kitty, kitty. All in good time. By the way, make sure you tell Hallibel, Nnoitora, Gin, Yammy, Grimmjow and Szayel especially for helping me with Operation 'Change-Ulquiorra's-Status-As-A-Kiss-Virgin'. We couldn't have made this cool Zanpakuto thought-link without Szayel._ Pantera snorted and conveyed the message.

Santa Teresa, an angel with Nnoitora's thoughts, mocked, _You know they're all doing this for personal gain. Grimmy to be able to annoy Ulqui, Fox-Face for entertainment, Yammy 'cause he likes Ulqui, Pinky for research, Hally 'cause on the inside she is a complete romantic, and Nnoitora's just a fuckin' perv. Even the princess is just doing this 'cause she wants to fuck Ulquiorra._ The Zanpakutos all muttered their agreement. Murcielago, unfazed, said back, _So? I don't care, as long as they do their part. Besides, we want her to fuck Ulquiorra, at least in some point in time, so it just helps if she does too._

Just then, Ulquiorra pushed open Orihime's door. Murcielago gave the mental equivalent of a smirk and though about the diabolical plot she had planned that Ulqui would _not_ approve of.... at least, out loud.

_**ACTUAL STORY**_

Ulquiorra was frightened, although he'd never show it. It was time for the captive's dinner, and he was _really_ on edge. Captain Ichimaru, the Tercera, the Quinta, the Sexta, the Octava, and the Decimo had been looking at him strangely all day. What was even worse was that Murcielago was being quiet. Terrifyingly quiet. Hiding his inner agitation, Ulquiorra walked into the prisoner's room and placed her food on the table. and then moved to lean against the door. Unknown to him, Murcielago whispered to the Espada, Gin, and Orihime's Zanpakutos and Shun Shun Rikka, respectively, _Go._

Orihime, for once, didn't turn immediately to see Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra blinked, and then said, "Woman." Orihime turned and started eating her food, but didn't look at Ulquiorra. He moved forward until he was in the moonlight with her, and she glanced up from under her thick lashes, silver eyes glittering in the moonlight, sending a strange surge through Ulquiorra, one he'd been experiencing more and more lately.

Meanwhile, the Espada and Gin looked at the sheet music in front of them and started playing various instruments just loud enough for Ulquiorra to hear, and just quiet enough for him to ignore.

Murcielago, still in Ulquiorra's head, started singing quietly in her smooth, soft voice. "There, you see her. Sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her." Ulquiorra's gaze lingered longer than usual at the way Orihime's hair rippled in the light of the moon as she silently ate. "And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna _kiss _the girl." Ulquiorra's eyes widened and he stiffened while Murcielago continued crooning urgently.

"Yes, you want her. Look at her, you know you do. It's possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her." Murcielago could tell Ulquiorra was listening, although he didn't want to. "It don't take a word, not a single word, go on and _kiss the girl_." Ulquiorra was entranced with Orihime's petal pink lips, Murcielago's lyrics clouding up his mind.

Realizing what was happening, he paced once, and then quickly stopped. Orihime looked at him, but didn't say anything. Ulquiorra sonidoed to where she was standing and carefully caressed her cheek. "Why won't you speak?" he asked, and then jerked away like he'd been burned. His emerald eyes were foggy and unfocused as he fought with himself and Murcielago.

The Espada and Gin played louder, and Murcielago sang, broadcasting it to Orihime, too. "Sha la la la la la la, my, oh my, looks like the boy's too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la la, ain't that sad? Ain't that a shame? Too bad. He's gonna miss the girl." Ulquiorra stared at Orihime, clearly agonized as Murcielago urged yet again, "Go on and kiss the girl." When he still didn't move, Murciealgo whispered, "Now's your moment, waiting in a dark white room. Boy, you better do it soon. No time will be better. She don't say a word, and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl."

Orihime gasped. Somehow, everyone in on the plan had sent orbs of their spiritual pressure to dance like fairies around her and Ulquiorra, and without her permission, her Shun Shun Rikka joined them. The golden light from her fairies along with Hallibel's teal, Nnoitora's violet, Yammy's ginger, Grimmjow's ice, and Gin's lavendar spheres, long ribbons of jade energy that felt suspiciously like Murcielago twined around Orihime and Ulquiorra, forcing them closer.

Getting louder again, Murcielago repeated the chorus. "Sha la la la la la la, my, oh my, looks like the boy's too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la la, ain't that sad? Ain't that a shame? Too bad. You're gonna miss the girl." Ulquiorra stepped closer to Orihime. Grinning victoriously in Ulquiorra's mind, Murcielago continued.

"Sha la la la la la la, don't be scared! You gotta be prepared, go on and kiss the girl. Sha la la la la la la, don't stop now! Don't try to hide it, how you wanna kiss the girl." Ulquiorra stepped closer. He was now officially invading Orihime's space bubble. Hallibel's fraccion were making wonderful back-up singers as Murcielago said with growing excitement, "Kiss the girl. Go on, and kiss the girl." Ulquiorra gently tilted Orihime's chin upward, his green gaze dazed and yet it was obvious he was determined to kiss her. His nose gently brushed her cheekbone. She could feel his breath, his lips were less than a heartbeat away when...

**Bang.**

Orihime and Ulquiorra both whipped around to see infuriated twins. "Lord Aizen wants you, Lord Cifer," Menoly growled while Loly mouthed at Orihime, _Bitch._ Orihime noted the lights had vanished and a disappointed band was 'hiding' at the end of the hallway, where Hallibel was restraining an enraged Grimmjow, who was obviously trying to brutally assault the two interruptions. Ulquiorra nodded in response to the summons and walked out, his viridian eyes sliding to Orihime a final time before he left.

The Espada and Gin filed in Orihime's room and they all stared at the door Ulquiorra had left out of. Murcielago materialized next to Orihime and said simply, "Damn." Everyone nodded in agreement.


End file.
